Words Like Stone

Sarah Palin vs. the Librarian

2008-09-10T16:09:31Z

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/national/politics/2008/view.bg?articleid=1117009

So strictly speaking, the librarian was not asked to censor books; she was presented with a hypothetical situation and asked what her reaction might be. And again, strictly speaking, only an inferential connection can be made between this question and her subsequent dismissal, and were I to insist on this connection I would be rightly accused of the post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy.

Nevertheless, I can't be the only person in this country who finds the idea of a city librarian being dismissed for her lack of support for the mayor a little ridiculous. Lack of support? What does that mean? She clearly wasn't insubordinate or incompetent, or she would have been fired for those reasons. Did she not cheer loudly enough when the mayor gave a speech? Was she not sufficiently sympathetic when the mayor was having a bad day? Since when does being a city employee entail wholehearted support of the city executives' policies and priorities?

If the woman was doing her job, Sarah Palin had no business dismissing her. If the actual reason for the dismissal was her refusal to violate principles that any librarian learns while getting an MLS, then Sarah Palin attempted a wrongful firing. And the idea that a mayor has the right to summarily get rid of employees that don't pass an ideology test is repulsive.

All of which is to say that this situation stinks pretty much any way I look at it.

PZ Myers

2008-07-28T21:18:44Z

For a man who doesn't believe in God, he's awfully obsessed with religion, isn't he? "There is no God, and I will destroy Him!"

The whole spectacle of neo-atheists (Dawkins, Hitchens, Myers et al.) continually attacking religious belief makes me wonder why they're devoting so much energy to attacking something that they claim a) has no power and b) is on its way out anyway. You'd think they could see that the vehemence with which they go after the religious only empowers and legitimizes their targets.

Remember, kids, the opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference.

The magpie sees something shiny...

2007-04-13T17:39:16Z

...and picks it up.

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless,airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

--C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Music

2007-02-14T20:52:57Z

Ordinary Weekend

I lost my job on Friday, I went drinking to forget
My luck it had been down so long but I could change it yet
Sat down and started talking with some guy sitting there
He bought me drinks all afternoon until I didn’t care
He said was I in need of work, some money could be found
I said is it above the law? he said it’s underground
I said I need the paycheck now, I got debts here and there
He smiled and asked if I could drive and I said anywhere
Anywhere...

In this weekend of ordinary dreams
Everything was not just as it seems
Take a look around at the faces in the crowd
And you’ll see where I’ve been

We met up on the Saturday, I thought it was us two
But I had not asked questions not knowing what to do
Twelve of them were in the van, thirteen including me
Twelve pairs of eyes were staring back at me, suspiciously
And so I just sat down and drove, took them to some track
And drove past the security guard while they hid in the back
They made me stop, and got out there, and I heard a couple of shots
I hoped they were in self-defense but I knew that they were not
They were not...

Not in this weekend of ordinary dreams...

I drummed my fingers on the wheel and waited for the boys
Had a smoke, I had a few, I got very paranoid
And still they hadn’t come back there, so I just drove away
Deciding to play safe and get my share another day

On Sunday, he came round my place, I asked him where they’d been
He said they’d left another way and only I was seen
He said that we should cash the van and did I want my share
I didn’t like the way they’d left but by now I didn’t care
Didn’t care...

Didn’t care for this weekend of ordinary dreams...

He drove me to a back room with a single swinging light
Someone said the fish are starving, ain’t it time they had a bite
And I felt sick and stupid and damned my own brown hair
Forgetting that the price you pay must far exceed the share
Someone pulled a knife out and they stabbed me in the back
They tied my hands and bound my feet and threw me in a sack
They took me to a lakeside and they threw my body in
I could hear them laughing, they said you can sink or swim
Sink or swim...

So hear you desperate women and hear you desperate men
Don’t take your life for granted
Don’t live your life in vain
But if you think that you can change it,
Hope you know you can’t go back
Just go down to the lakeside
Watch me floating in a sack,
In this sack.

--John Wesley Harding

Christmas joy

2007-01-02T20:14:12Z

Since we are still in Christmastide, I would like to take this opportunity to wish all readers & friends a merry Christmas (and, of course, a happy [secular] New Year).

May God bless you all!

Mushiness

2006-12-21T17:37:43Z

It was four months ago today that I made up my mind to do something that I wanted very badly to do. To paraphrase Pete Townshend, a beautiful girl raised her mouth and yearned, and this time I remembered what lips were for. I can't begin to express, with mere words, how happy I am that I did.

"For 'tis love, and love alone, the world is seeking;
And 'tis love, and love alone, that can repay!
'Tis the answer, 'tis the end and all of living,
For it is love alone that rules for aye!"

My iPod is learning how to dj

2006-12-15T20:50:22Z

The last three tracks played by my iPod, on shuffle :

Faust : "Baby"
Amon Düül I : "Blech & Aufbau"
Current 93 : "The Fire of the Mind"

The common thread, of course, is Krautrock--explicitly in the first two, and implicitly (in terms of influence and personnel : Steven Stapleton, who produced & mixed the C93 track, is a major Krautrock fiend, and the track itself is a long, lovely drone that could have come out of the Lord Krishna von Goloka sessions) in the last. Ah well, I was impressed anyway.

Also, I am now finished with this semester at seminary, except for Evensong tonight. Hooray!

My God in Heaven!

2006-12-14T17:48:56Z

Karen Finley is really annoying.

EOM.

Just Wondering...

2006-12-12T22:01:41Z

Have any of you ever known of an open/polyamorous/whatever relationship that actually worked? That is, one where both partners were equally into it, there was no difficulty with jealousy, and the couple stayed together for a long long time (even the rest of their lives)?

I haven't. I've known some people who had that sort of relationship and it always has seemed that one partner was into the idea & the other was just going along (because they valued the relationship & didn't want it to end), or that one or both partners were carrying around a serious grudge which they had to work really hard to sublimate, or that the tensions inherent in such an arrangement ended up tearing the people apart.

I've always thought there was something kind of phony about such relationships. Maybe that's just me imposing my idea of what a committed relationship is on the rest of the world, though. If I'm in a committed relationship with someone, it has to be exclusive. That's right, I am now my parents. Which doesn't really bother me at all; the fact that some of their values are screwy doesn't make them all screwy.

I have a fan!

2006-12-11T23:12:57Z

One of A's exes (no, not the most recent one) has an lj, and I seem to have come in for a bit of stick.

if you are 40 years of age, or older, should you really have an lJ? i think not.
unless everyone you know is 20, or younger? and you have some kind of thing for younglings.

Charming young man, isn't he? Take a look at this one as well :

so

the church
or clergy

having a tendency to be sexually aroused by those far far younger than they are, is FUCKIING DISGUSTING.

it is really disgusting.
it makes me want to vomit.

whether they like young men

or in this case,

young women.

[also, why is pope benedict??
very unnerving]

I would suggest that what is really making him want to vomit are those sour grapes he's been chewing for the past 4 months.

And most recently, this gem, where he stops whapping on me to take a sideswipe at the friend he's supposedly so concerned for :

i am sorry, but for all those whom believe in a 'god' or other parental-like super being and it's dogmatic rule over the entire universe and everything in it- all the proof you need of it's (and possibly your own) absurdity, is to read the story of immaculate conception.

anyone can see this is rubbish and nothing more.

(unless you are an engineer.)

I'm oddly fascinated that someone I hardly know is expending so much energy on disapproving of my life. Isn't the Internet great?

Things!

2006-12-07T00:23:21Z

Apparently yesterday will have been the earliest sunset of the year. I am relieved to know that the sun will be shining (gradually!) later & later through the next solstice. There are times when I feel like I'm on the border of Seasonal Affective Disorder, and every little extra bit of light helps.

******

I am currently listening to the Samples, and I have no idea why. They're really irritating; sort of like Sting fronting a band filled with Green "world-beat" enthusiasts, with really clumsy enviro-political lyrics. A [giggle] sample :

gentle thoughts meander through the sand
as the ship made currents reach the land
the omniscient sun paving through the sky
and when it's done all the seabirds fly

I'd like to stay but I couldn't stay with you
I have to go, but I have a lot I want to do
pleasures be waiting by the sea
with a smile for all the world to see

diamond waves through sunglass days go by
so beAUtiful to be here and alive
though I've built sometimes so hard did I survive?
CAN YOU feel us shaking?

beneath the sea another world exists
it's tugging me by the ankles and my wrists
the morning wind come and pull me away
out to where the dolphins play

diamond waves through sunglass days go by
so beuatiful to be here and alive
though I've built sometimes so hard did I survive?
CAN YOU feel us shaking?

pleasures be waiting by the sea
with a smile for all the world to see

Really makes you want to vomit, doesn't it? I took it off & put something else on, by the way.

******

A couple of my grad-student friends & I are talking about caroling on Monday evening. I'm really excited by this! If the idea appeals to you (and you can sight-read choral music without accompaniment), let me know...

******

Anxiety comes & goes. My life is changing; the way I look at the world is (slowly) changing. There was a time when I struggled very hard against the "fearsome effects of entropy," forces which seemed as though they might tear everything I loved and cared for--relationships, family, self--to shreds. I'm not as convinced of that these days. For now the strategy is simply to ride the anxiety out and to focus on trust, not as a passive state, but as an action of the will. So far, so good.

Winter Light

2006-11-02T19:22:18Z

I watched this film with Ashley, I think a couple of months ago now. It's one of her favorites, and I remember reading somewhere that it's Bergman's favorite of all his own films.

A full synopsis of the story can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_Light . I just have a few comments on it, which may or may not be insightful, or which may be completely naive and silly.

It's a very well-shot film; beautiful in its cold desolation, which mirrors the starkness and loneliness of the two main characters, Tomas & Märta. As the film begins, Tomas (a Lutheran pastor) is conducting a Holy Communion service in a small Swedish church, sparsely attended. It's an interesting look at the minimalist Lutheran style, by the way : the eucharistic prayer consists solely of the words of institution, and the Sanctus quotes Isaiah directly ("the whole earth is full of thy glory") rather than the amplification in the Missal ("heaven and earth are full of thy glory"). Anyway, what's really striking about this is the near-complete perfunctoriness with which Tomas celebrates the service, and the sense of hopelessness in the communicants (one of which, his ex-mistress Märta, is in any case an avowed atheist).

We find that Tomas is, in fact, having a crisis of faith. Having grown up sheltered and protected, he once took God's love and providence for granted; but during the Spanish Civil War, he witnessed atrocities that shook his faith. His reaction was to turn away, not only from the horrors he saw, but ultimately from other human beings and from God as well. Märta still loves him, but is powerless to reach him in his withdrawal; it is not so much that he cannot choose between her and his religion, but that he has retreated into a place where neither can have any effect upon him. Tomas repeatedly tells himself that she just doesn't measure up to the ideal of his wife, but I don't believe that for a second; it's clear that this is just a convenient excuse for his complete and total emotional barrenness. Märta at one point attempts to comfort and care for him, eliciting only a scathing rejection (delivered almost completely coldly, so much more terrifying than any screaming or shouting); it's clear to me that he's terrified by any prospect of emotional intimacy, not wishing to face the source of his own brokenness.

An irony : Märta, the atheist, behaves in a much more Christian manner than most of the avowed Christians in the film. Throughout, she exhibits charity and self-sacrifice. By contrast, Tomas is a self-obsessed sad sack, the organist a bibulous agnostic (clearly, Bergman has known some organists!), and the sexton, Algot, appears at first to be a fusspot obsessed with trivial details.

But it's Algot who supplies the turning point of the film. Although Bergman seems to have stacked the deck to make him an unpleasant character (he's crippled, loquacious, and fussy), he points out to Tomas shortly before the afternoon service that Christ's worst suffering was not the physical pain of the Crucifixion (after all, that was only a matter of a few hours), but the total sense of having been abandoned--by the fickle crowd that cheered him on his entry into Jerusalem, only to demand his death a few days later before Pilate; by his clueless and bickering apostles; and finally, by God the Father. Finally, something reaches Tomas; although the film doesn't clearly state it, I think he begins to realize that God has not abandoned him, but he God, and he begins to shake off his despair and go on.

We don't know what happens afterward. Tomas may indeed fall into a final despair, and like his parishioner Jonas Persson, commit suicide. Or he may find his faith revitalized and deepened. I want to hope for the latter, certainly. I want to remember this film when I'm tempted to gaze into the well of my own failures and disappointments, when I forget the needs of others, when my own responsibilities begin to feel like shackles. I want to remember, always, that my deepest happiness has always come from the things that I give, not the things that I get.

palaeologos @ 2006-09-27T10:58:00

2006-09-27T18:00:46Z

I'm wanting this
To be New York and we are Nico
And Jackson Browne, and
With our tambourine and
Folk guitar, no city's

Hard enough
To drive us into desperation
Or make us doubt the strength
We get from just each other
Rolling off the factory floor

--Scott Miller, "Years of Wrong Impressions"

St Matthew, Evangelist & Apostle

2006-09-21T22:17:57Z

The epistle for today's Mass was beautiful :

THEREFORE seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not; but have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: in whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus sake. For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

--the Second Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians, iv.1

Happy name-day to me. St Matthew, pray for us.

George Herbert

2006-09-15T20:57:01Z

I thought of this poem today at Mass, and could hardly contain my joy.

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack'd anything.

"A guest," I answer'd, "worthy to be here";
Love said, "You shall be he."
"I, the unkind, the ungrateful? ah my dear,
I cannot look on thee."
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
"Who made the eyes but I?"

"Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame
Go where it doth deserve."
"And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?"
"My dear, then I will serve."
"You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat."
So I did sit and eat.

palaeologos @ 2006-09-12T08:10:00

2006-09-12T15:17:04Z

I've not been posting much lately, partly because I'm busy, and partly because I'm afraid that posting over & over variations on "Life is wonderful and I'm very happy" would be tedious for you, O Reader, to read. So please forgive my absence (if indeed you're experiencing it as an absence).

I have some things to say about a couple of films I've seen recently, but I need to think them through first; look for some ruminations on Bergman & Barney soon.

"This is the great wheel of Birth and Death : tie it up and make of it the True Love Knot."

Till the day break, and the shadows flee away

2006-09-07T23:37:55Z

et dilectus meus loquitur mihi surge propera amica mea formonsa mea et veni

iam enim hiemps transiit imber abiit et recessit flores apparuerunt in terra tempus putationis advenit vox turturis audita est in terra nostra ficus protulit grossos suos vineae florent dederunt odorem surge amica mea speciosa mea et veni columba mea in foraminibus petrae in caverna maceriae ostende mihi faciem tuam sonet vox tua in auribus meis vox enim tua dulcis et facies tua decora capite nobis vulpes vulpes parvulas quae demoliuntur vineas nam vinea nostra floruit

dilectus meus mihi et ego illi qui pascitur inter lilia donec adspiret dies et inclinentur umbrae revertere

(from the Song of Songs, which is Solomon's)

Saturday

2006-09-02T19:03:26Z

9 a.m. : got up, showered, ate breakfast, got dressed
10:30 a.m. : took dog for walk, cleaned up the house a bit
now : put gas in the car, get it washed, take sheets/comforter/duvet to laundry (our machine isn't big enough), get a haircut, have some coffee, lunch, maybe buy a couple of books, do the reading for OT Theology on Monday
maybe later : take dog to pet food store & bathe him
6:30 p.m. : Blue Velvet at the PFA, followed by talk, beer-drinking, and perhaps some XBOX 360

That's a more or less typical Saturday, I guess. How about you?

I slept like a baby last night, which is to say very well...

Misty and Teutonic

2006-09-01T22:26:19Z

I see you selling flowers
In the Springtime of decay,
I see you painting idols
While the Muses turn to grey,
And on your bleak horizons
Above the bright domain,
The buried soul of Europe
Alive beyond the breathing grave

I'll meet you here in Bavaria,
In fear you'll burn forever,
I'll meet you here in Bavaria,
In dreams we'll live forever

This is how we see the world,
Shining, burning

See how the truth divides us
In the mercury of pain,
See how the truth reminds us
Of the blindness that we face,
To suffer for the love of life,
Sweetness in your cruel embrace,
Intimations of mortality
The crownless Court of Grace

On the steeples high
Where the swans still glide,
Imperium, Imperium
On the steeples high
Where the nights still shine,
Imperium, Imperium

I'll meet you here in Bavaria,
In fear you'll burn forever,
I'll meet you here in Bavaria,
In dreams we'll live forever

--Ostara

Presents!

2006-08-30T23:14:17Z

There are several sets of vestments at St Joseph's that aren't being used. They're 30 or so years old, and very fine (though heavy--woolen), made in France. The Archbishop told me today that he's going to give them to me.

Vestments like these would cost thousands of dollars to have made these days. I'm very touched by this generosity, and hope that it doesn't mean I'm about to be posted to a mission in Alaska...

An old favorite

2006-08-29T03:31:09Z

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

--e. e. cummings

Bikram biking

2006-08-23T23:16:39Z

All right, so today the RSF exercise equipment has been relocated because of approaching Caltopia. Caltopia is the yearly Welcome Week event in which the RSF turns into a kind of corporate promotions fair, with giveaways, food, and hundreds of gormless, open-mouthed, slack-jawed students clogging up the place where we all pay to come exercise. (Bitter? Me?)

When this occurs, they move all the bikes, Precors, Stairmasters and other instruments of self-torture (note that I didn't say self-abuse) to the Combatives Room (i.e. the place where they usually teach martial arts of one sort or another). For some reason, today this room was about 15 degrees warmer than the rest of the building. I was sweating like the proverbial, so much so in fact that I eased off a bit, never mind that I missed work (and therefore gym) yesterday and could have used a bit of a push. I'm sorely tempted to just not go when Caltopia is running, but I would feel obscurely guilty, I think. I am aware that this is kind of dumb.

Ask the Reference Librarian! (2nd instalment)

2006-08-23T22:11:21Z

Would I be able to find a song from my childhood solo days at your library?
How might I obtain a copy of the music/word. The song is about 30-40 years
old. Thank you. Barb

Dear Ms. [deleted]:

You may indeed be able to find the song. It would be helpful, though, to know the composer or at least the title of this piece.

Sincerely,

[palaeologos]

Exhausted,

2006-08-23T05:47:23Z

but with a smile never far from my lips. And so good night.

Pascal's jacket

2006-08-21T22:00:17Z

MEMORIAL

In the year of grace, 1654,
On Monday, 23rd of November, Feast of St Clement, Pope and Martyr,
and others in the Martyrology,
Vigil of St Chrysogonus, Martyr, and others,
From about half past ten in the evening until about half past
twelve,

FIRE!

God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob,
not of the philosophers and scholars.
Certitude. Certitude. Feeling. Joy. Peace.
God of Jesus Christ.
"Thy God and my God."
Forgetfulness of the world and of everything, except God.
He is to be found only in the ways taught in the Gospel.
Greatness of the Human Soul.
"Righteous Father, the world hath not known Thee,
but I have known Thee."
Joy, joy, joy, tears of joy.
I have separated myself from Him.
"They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters."
"My God, wilt Thou leave me?"
Let me not be separated from Him eternally.
"This is eternal life,
that they might know Thee, the only true God,
and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent."
Jesus Christ.

JESUS CHRIST

I have separated myself from Him:
I have fled from Him,
denied Him,
crucified Him.
Let me never be separated from Him.
We keep hold of Him only by the ways taught in the Gospel.

Renunciation, total and sweet.
Total submission to Jesus Christ and to my director.
Eternally in joy for a day's training on earth.
"I will not forget thy words." Amen.

These words were written by Blaise Pascal to commemorate a vision of God which he had on the date referenced. He sewed them into the lining of his jacket, that he might not forget. Like his Pensees, they were never intended for an audience, but were discovered by a servant after his death; a memorial of His personal visit.